Lindsay Lohan might have good reason to think twice before kissing Charlie Sheen ... but the sword cuts both ways ... because Charlie's got good reason to think twice before kissing her too. And, Ashton Kutcher finally files for divorce from Demi Moore -- a year after splitting up -- so what the hell took so long? We might have an idea. Plus, Madonna's cursing outburst at fans for smoking at her concert -- the same woman who glamorized cigarettes for YEARS in her heyday. And the red-headed bully from "A Christmas Story" calls in -- you'll never guess what he has to say after all these years ...