The couple weren't exactly holding hands and all over each other Thursday -- when they were photographed going to Violet's grad party, but J Lo was right by his side as he lugged a giant gift hamper to the milestone family occasion in L.A.

Vibes were good all around though -- and naturally, they were dressed to impress with Jen rocking a stunning cinched floral dress and hubby Ben sporting a slick grey suit.

If it were anyone else, you'd think everything was going swimmingly between them ... but remember, they're not any ordinary duo at the moment, 'cause many people think they're broken up at the moment -- and for good reason.

Bena and Jen have found themselves at the center of some pretty ferocious split rumors of late -- with one reporter even boldly asking Jen at her recent press conference for her latest flick "Atlas" what the deal was with them.

Of course, J Lo shut him down -- but the fact remains ... the couple's relationship status has been a hot topic since we reported they were living in separate L.A. homes.

Adding fuel to the fire, Ben then began playing ring games -- first spotted without his wedding ring for a bit, then suddenly wearing it again on another day ... a disappearing act of sorts.

We've seen Ben and Jen get together a handful of times over the past couple weeks -- usually for family events like this -- but in all instances ... they don't look lovey-dovey.