Paula's attorney, Melissa Eubanks, tells TMZ ... Nigel is victim-shaming Paula and is cherry-picking from years of communications between them as he tries to discredit the allegations she brought against him in her sexual assault lawsuit in December.

As we first told you, Nigel's legal response to Paula's suit included alleged emails she sent him ... with Nigel claiming the emails gave off a friendly and loving vibe between them ... after the time Paula alleged he sexually assaulted her

Now, Paula's firing back ... as her attorney says Nigel's response fails to appreciate the power dynamic in their relationship, where Lythgoe was a powerful exec/her boss and Paula worked under him as a judge on the reality competition shows he executive produced.

Abdul's attorney says ... "He held the cards to her career in his hand and he knew it." The lawyer also goes on to call Nigel's tactic classic victim shaming.

What's more, Paula's legal team says those emails Nigel referenced in his docs were just Paula placating his ego with "positive messaging and seeming adoration ... defenses that many women like Ms. Abdul had to adopt to deal with men who abuse their power."

Paula claims to have some receipts from Nigel too ... saying she has text messages from him showing numerous instances of overt sexual harassment.

Abdul's camp claims Nigel texted her on March 8, 2014, writing ... "When you get back to LA will you please make love to me! Slowly and lovingly!" Paula says she didn't respond and Nigel double texted, "I'll take that as a YES then!"

Another alleged text, from April, 10, 2014, is a response to a message Paula sent Nigel about "So You Think You Can Dance" auditions in Las Vegas ... to which Nigel allegedly responded, "I'll come if you promise a big wet kiss! With tongues! Is a small grope of the ass asking too much?"

A few months later, in July 2014, Paula claims Nigel acknowledged he was being inappropriate when he allegedly texted her ... "You love me like a relation I love you like a girlfriend. I could easily be your f****** cousin? Ha Ha."

Remember ... Paula claims Nigel sexually assaulted her twice -- the first time during "one of Idol's initial sessions" in the early 2000s, and again at some point during her 2 seasons on 'SYTYCD' ... a gig she started in 2015.

Paula's attorney also claims Nigel verbally assaulted Adbul on multiple occasions as well ... which she says "are evidence of the frequent abusive behavior that Ms. Abdul was subjected to during her time on American Idol and SYTYCD."