Britney Spears describes the at-home abortion she had, and turns out the whole thing was shrouded in secrecy and torturous for her.
TMZ broke the story ... the bombshell in Britney's memoir -- "The Woman in Me" -- is that Justin Timberlake got her pregnant and made it clear he did not want the baby. Although she apparently wanted the baby, after some emotional discussions, she agreed to an abortion.
She wrote, "I'm sure people will hate me for this, but I agreed not to have the baby. I don't know if that was the right decision. If It had been left up to me alone, I never would have done it. And yet Justin was so sure that he didn't want to be a father."
Now we learn Britney and JT made a pact that no one would know she was pregnant and chose to have an abortion ... so they decided to terminate the pregnancy at home, without a doctor and without telling their family or anyone else.
She writes, "It was important that no one find out about the pregnancy or the abortion, which meant doing everything at home."
Britney says the procedure was "excruciating." The medication caused her severe physical pain.
She writes as she lies on the bathroom floor sobbing, Justin tried comforting her with music -- strumming his guitar.
Britney says in the memoir ... "I kept crying and sobbing until it was all over. It took hours, and I don’t remember how it ended, but I do, twenty years later, remember the pain of it, and the fear."