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Bam Margera My Wife Won't Let Me See My Kid ... Sticking with Sober People to Keep Clean

Bam Margera says his estranged wife Nikki is still blocking him from seeing their son, face-to-face -- even though he says he's committed to lifestyle changes to remain sober.

We got Bam Tuesday outside court in downtown L.A., where he said it's a terrible feeling to know his son Phoenix is a short drive away, yet he still can't see him ... and he insists he's far from being the violent guy Nikki's making him out to be.

The former "Jackass" star says his only goal right now is to see Phoenix again, but he says Nikki's only allowed him a couple of FaceTime calls.

As for Bam's sobriety, he tells us Lamar Odom wanted to work on his addiction a bit differently from how rehab centers have handled Bam in the past, which is why he's out.

Instead, he says he's surrounding himself with sober people -- some of them coaches, and some just friends -- to keep him straight.

FYI, Bam and Nikki were in court to establish whether their marriage was even valid and to determine if CA is the right court to deal with the case.

Bam testified he was informed their 2013 wedding in Iceland wasn't legit because they weren't residents of that country. The judge hasn't ruled yet.

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We also got Nikki after the hearing, and she was shocked where things have gone with Bam after more than a decade together. She added ... Bam's behavior's been "extremely scary," and she needs to see consistent change before changing her mind about visits with Phoenix.

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