5:43 PM PT -- A source close to the 'RHOC' couple tells TMZ ...Michelle's accusations are absurd and need to stop, because this clearly hurts Slade ... who lost a son here. We're told Slade had taken every opportunity to be with Grayson, despite being denied access to his boy, allegedly by Michelle, hundreds of times.
Our source also tells us there are texts and emails to back this up -- namely, Slade asking to see Grayson, only to be shut down time and again ... including, we're told, one instance where Slade and Skylar tried and failed to see him a week before he passed.
We're told Slade is devastated that he had to say his goodbyes at the morgue, and that no parent should ever have to be put through that. Our sources say Michelle should be ashamed for trying to smear them during a time of grief/healing.
'Real Housewives of Orange County' alum Gretchen Rossi and her fiancé, Slade Smiley are getting dragged through the mud for paying tribute to Slade's late son ... because the biological mother claims Gretchen and Slade haven't even been around for him in the last decade.
Slade's ex, Michelle Arroyo tells TMZ ... Gretchen's recent social media posts about the loss of 22-year-old Grayson are disrespectful -- saying the couple has "grossly misrepresented the true nature of their relationship with Grayson, which was virtually nonexistent."
Grayson passed earlier this month after a long battle with brain cancer -- something he fought since he was 6. Since his death, Gretchen's been posting nonstop about how heartbroken she is, but Michelle is calling BS.
She tells us Gretchen hasn't made the effort in the past 10 years to see him ... calling a so-called relationship "nonexistent."
On top of that, Michelle, who has lost her home, business, and life savings while solely taking care of Grayson’s needs, says she can't keep quiet any longer about Slade's years of "inexcusable behavior and neglect," adding Grayson desperately wanted a relationship with his dad.
Michelle adds she had to hire lawyers to get Slade to cough up his child support payments -- claiming he still owes $152K in support, with his last payment coming in back in 2019.
Her family started a GoFundMe to help with the cost of a memorial to properly honor Greyson ... as well as to cover the outstanding medical expenses half of which Slade is responsible for but has never paid.
Originally Published -- 12:50 AM PT