In the text messages, to which Tommy hasn't responded, we're told ... Pamela told the Mötley Crüe drummer how cute their family used to be when they were still together raising their sons ... and she blames the paparazzi for tearing them apart.

We've heard 2 differing sides on Pamela's goal in texting Tommy -- a source close to her tells us she has zero intention of breaking up his marriage, and isn't trying to get back with him. That source says Pam only wanted to express her gratitude for their history.

On the other side, a source close to Tommy tells us while Pam's been portraying herself, at least in public, as being respectful of Tommy's marriage to Brittany Furlan -- in reality, Tommy and Brittany believe she's been trying to get back with him.

Our Tommy sources say Pamela's been repeatedly texting Tommy since he proposed to Brittany, but Tommy doesn't respond, and is respectful of Brittany and happily married.

Some of Pam's texts to Tommy surfaced online ... and we're told she also texts him flirty messages about how she still loves him, and how she believes they will be together when they're old. We're also told she sends Tommy apologies for things that happened in the past.

Our sources say Pam's most recent text to Tommy was in January, right before her documentary, "Pamela, A Love Story" premiered on Netflix. We're told she was expressing heartbreak over their divorce and how she was sorry for hurting Tommy.

It's worth noting ... Brittany recently posted and deleted a TikTok where she joked Pamela wouldn't care if she died. Brittany said she deleted it because she felt like it was going to get twisted, but was clearly just making a joke.

She has been getting attacked online since the documentary dropped and we're told she's had friends and family reaching out to see if she's ok because they feel the doc makes it crystal clear Pam is still very much in love with Tommy.