Here's the dookie deal ... all ya gotta do to get the dough is be able to poo, analyze and document your daily bowel movements, and share your fecal findings on social media.

The $10,000 gig comes with an exec title -- Vice President of Fecal Matter -- that'll definitely stand out on your resume. Now, it's not for everybody ... ya gotta have at least 21 years on-the-job John experience, and a very open-bathroom-door policy.

The 3-month consulting position is with TUSHY, which fashions itself as a modern bathroom brand revolutionizing the way people poop with different kinds of bidets.

All applicants must submit a video and, we gotta say ... good luck matching Ashley K.'s skills. Still, we're told applications are already pouring in ahead of the company's July 10 deadline. Makes sense ... much like opinions, everyone's got one.

It ain't just straight poop, though ... the VP will also be tasked with interviewing others about their toilet habits, testing TUSHY products against the competition, and prodeuce-ing video content for social media.

Good luck and remember, ya gotta be #1 to talk ✌🏽!!!