Tamar tells TMZ, "Co-parenting while going through a divorce is not an easy task. While celebrating the Christmas holiday as a family, after a few drinks and some jealousy, things got a bit out of hand, which is common for most families during the holidays. In the midst of everything our family is going through things got heated and a bit exaggerated."

Tamar makes it clear ... "There was no physical interaction between Vince and I on Christmas. While I do not appreciate his lack of respect for our family and him allegedly impregnating another woman, I cannot paint him as a vicious abuser that Vince is not."

TMZ broke the story ... Herbert was arrested for spousal assault and taken to jail, where he bailed out after posting $20k.

Tamar says, "I'm deeply hurt and saddened that this will be how we remember Christmas 2017, but, my motto is and maintains to be 'Bluebird of Happiness' and nobody will stop my joy and blessings going into the New Year! God Bless!"

Tamar went ham a few hours ago on the woman claiming Herbert got her pregnant ... calling her a "whore."