Our Kourtney source tells us she's done treating Scott like a baby and worrying how he'll react to her every move. We're told she's telling friends -- she cares for and respects the father of her children, but romantically ... it's just over.

We're told Scott's jealousy is the reason she wouldn't post anything on social media about who she's dating. She's aware it's triggered him into drinking and partying binges before.

But she and Younes Bendjima were recently photographed in Bev Hills -- and she believes Scott's friends see her out, and report back to him. As we reported, Scott's off the wagon and friends say he needs rehab. As for him partying with blondies ... we're told it's a front.

Our Kourt sources say she's determined to live life on her terms, and Scott will just have to get onboard.